Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
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