All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just blew my weed a kiss
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
