So drunk, too bad you don't want this
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Randomize
