woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
he high fived his dick after we had sex
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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