Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
Randomize
