am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
