oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I haven't been this sober since birth.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
Randomize
