He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
