I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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