maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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