sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
operation harelip BJ is a go
Acid is not a monday night drug
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
