He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
