i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
