Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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