my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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