I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
