I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Sometimes intelligent conversation doesn't mix well with a romantic interest. It's possible the two are best kept separate. Toys should just stay in the toy box.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
