I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Im part way to drunk.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
