We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I had to download the flashlight app so I could finish taking a dump when the power went out.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Randomize
