so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
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