I think my fart just growled at me.
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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