just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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