Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize
