The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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