As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
Randomize
