That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
