I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
