hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
i think we sleep fucked last night...
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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