I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
