either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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