I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
