Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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