He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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