And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i need some magic done to my vagina
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Randomize
