he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
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