he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
