Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
