Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
