I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
