Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
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