When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Hippo gnu deer
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
