i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
She's cute. And her snoring noises remind me of the incidental music from Jaws.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
