at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize
