1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
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