hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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