Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Randomize
