I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
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