the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
