I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Randomize
