i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
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