But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Everything about him screamed your future.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
